scared to be powerful

The past couple of weeks have been all about money, sex and power. It started like this: in a private session with my new teacher, we worked on money consciousness. When he asked me to visualise the consciousness of money, what showed up for me was an obese...

scared to exist

I’m introverted, so I only have a few close friends. I have three girlfriends who live in the same city as me. All of them now have boyfriends. I don’t. One of them just started a new relationship. Last week, she said that she might have to cancel the girls’ drinks...

scared to feel it

A couple of weeks ago, I remembered a moment I hadn’t thought about for a long time. It was 1986. I was sitting in the front row of a stifling hot crematorium chapel on an unusually warm and bright September day. I was watching my sister’s body, inside a pale wooden...

scared to receive

My time at the house on the rock is almost done. My six month lease finishes in two weeks and I’ve decided not to renew. It feels like the work I needed to do in this house is finished and it’s time to move a little closer to the world. So in the past few weeks, I’ve...